Fluffy clouds

Yawn. I am tired but I am still baking. Only pictures today of the strawberry meringue I made my for my nephew and his fiance following the birth of their first baby.

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Day Release

I just wish that if I were destined to wake up as bleary eyed as I seem to often do nowadays, it is because I had had a bloody good time the night before. Alas, no chance of that. Pfffft. Sproglet number 6, aged 3 stumbled in looking like a troll monster with her hair all in a tangle and pointing upwards. This baby has MASSES of hair. Almost down to her wast which dreaded itself a while back. I sorts just went with the flow and just put beads in the dreads but eventually, the density of the dreads were making her really hot and sweaty at nights and she started scratching her scalp to bits. So about a week ago, I started oiling her hair when she was asleep and undoing the dreads. It took about four nights worth of attempts to finally get it to the point where I could condition it and brush it out. The sores on her head are healing well now, it's just that now in the morning, I literally am picking off the loose scabs from out of her hair and unlocking bits of hair which have started dreading themselves over the night.
Anyway, Brighton. Got to the station. Bought ticket. Some British Rail lady mistook me for someone who bought tickets to London yesterday. I'm pretty sure I have a Doppleganger. I've also forgotten my phone and am feeling somewhat chuffed about that. I am quietly hoping that slaveboy remembers me telling him that he cannot switch the oven on unless he takes out the two quiches I have cooling in there.
So plan for Brighton. Some Japanese lunch. A stop at the American candyshop for some teethrot. Some purchases in Yum Yums, namely rolling mats for sushi making and hunt for goat's jizz err, cream in Infinity foods.
Ok, so it's now nearly half past three and Infinity Foods has no goat's cheese. I am suffering from mid afternoon slump and I am sat here waiting for my son to finish with his comic book workshop. We have been to a graphic novels bookshop and I am desperate to spend around £100 on some graphic novels by Neil Gaiman. I just love the guy. Sigh. I'll just have to wait til next time.
I really do enjoy my outings to Brighton. I often feel inspired to do better and be more creative with my life.

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Run, skip and hop

Contrary to what you might think, i.e. I have abandoned this blog, I am actually about and cooking and baking. I'm just not finding the time to do any blogging.
Spiker and I have agreed to undertake the task of providing lunch for the week long summer workshop at a local home educating establishment, on top of running two cookery workshops for the week and also baking some extra cakes for them. I am amazed that the first day, which was Monday went as well as it did considering how little time we had to prepare for it. Both Spiker and I were busy doing mummy stuff on Saturday, taking the kids tona Wonky Teapot workshop. We were much entertained by the mothers who seemed hellbent to make the items for their child, rather than just letting them get on with it. Nevertheless, our usual 2pm stupor was much relieved by the eye-candy-ness of the potter artist (potter I said, not potty).
The whole of Sunday was spent between figuring out how to diplomatically ask my sister in law to clear he hall for my son's party, to which she had agreed and also the stark realisation that it was not going to happen as news of her son's fiancé going into labor hit my inbox. Much plans about which of my kids should be despatched to adopt the role of boot sargeant and motivate the rest of my sister in law's family to carry on with the abandoned task.
So anyway, Sunday night, and yes, I do mean ALL of the evening was spent baking this rhubarb cake for the Monday. The bloody thing took ages to cook, much longer than I remembered it taking the first time round.
Now there is always a catch with baking cakes for this home ed establishment, for every cake I bake them, I also bake one for my family. The same cake but substituting the goat's products with normal moo cow ones. Which basically means double the amount of work. Funny how they get eaten at half the time though. Funny that fractioning and doubling up lark, isn't it?
So bla bla bla, the day went well. They loved the cakes. I didn't take any pictures but I do have a picture of a rather impressively long sheet of freshly rolled pasta. And it was magenta in colour.
Nothing much more happened. Except my usual of getting shirty with slaveboy for failing to pick me up from Spiker's like he promised because his mobile phone was out of range hence him not receiving the call from me asking him to come pick me up.
Take away the verbal slanging match and the peppering of cuss words, I reckon we got through the day alright. As long as noone gets me started about the comment he made about how what work I did for the day was just 'a little bit of work'. Pffftttt, says the man who doesn't understand housework. I tell you, I read all these baking blogs and there are these women who tell us about these perfect men they are married to - I reckon they are either prison inmates or nuns on bedrest.
Me bitter? Nahhh, I just need a holiday.

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Ho Hum..

I really don't know what to title this post with. SO much has happened and I am struggling to keep up with stuff. The Tea Party went really well, even taking account the fact that we couldn't have it in the park in the end due to foul weather and that we somehow managed to squeeze around 50 people into my tiny home. The children (mine) ate so much cake that they didn't ask for any dinner and didn't want any when it was offered to them. The next couple of days was spent in some form of sugar stupor and I was struggling to keep motivated.
Anyhoo, after the slight mishap with the udon noodles plan, I went on to have a go at a few things, because I had some ideas floating about. As part of my plans for a future party I have in mind, I wanted to make individual sized lemon meringue pies but couldn't make up my mind as to whether a mini muffin size would be better, or just a normal muffin one. So, I did both. There was a little toying around with the quantities, as really I knew I was going to need more pastry for individual sized ones than if I were to make a big pie. So I doubled up the sweet pastry recipe, which uses no water or fluids for that matter and included a couple of eggs. I have used this pastry recipe before and I have always had good success with it. It has always been light, buttery, crumbly and good tempered. The actual lemon filling was a just a single recipe's worth and I doctored the original meringue recipe to the one that I normally use as I wanted a really, crisp, thin-shelled meringue.
At some point, I am going to convince SOMEONE, or anyone, for that matter, to make me pastry dibbers that fit into normal muffin moulds as I found that was the most time consuming aspect of this process. I had to cut out rounds and then work them into the moulds and somehow make sure that they were all even. The baking process took about 20 minutes, maybe 25 (damn, I really ought to keep accurate records of these things) and they came out pretty well. What I had planned was to freeze a couple to see how well they freeze but then sense hit me and I realised that if I did that, I would be two lemon meringue pies short. So I thought, pah, I will just save two after they are baked to see how well they keep for a couple of days.
The lemon filling was very easy to make, I prefer this recipe more because they actually ask you to measure the lemon juice and I think that goes a long way in making sure that the filling sets, rather than ending up being one huge oozy mess. Also, it also required a small amount of orange juice and I wonder if this is the reason why this recipe never suffers from the occasional sherbet-y flavour lemon fillings take on.
I ended up with one extra egg whites because I made a double recipe of pastry, but funnily have only just realised as I am typing this that I hadn't put in the 'right' amount of sugar because I forgot about the extra egg white. I am such a div. So now I have the conundrum of whether I ought to use the lesser quantity of sugar as it actually worked or do I rectify the next batch I make to my usual amount?????
Anyhow, filling in. Splodge the meringue in the centre, tease it down to the edges of the pies and they went in for about 30 minutes for the mini ones and 40 minutes for the bigger ones (the extra unaccounted for egg white probably explains why it took longer than anticipated for the meringue shell to crisp up).
And this is how they looked like when the came out. The meringue was delicate but not overly fragile and handled quite a fair bit of being move from one plate to another, and another, and another.

This picture makes me feel sideways

The jar of flowers in the background contained the flower which my pantalooned cat has been trying to eat for the last few days. Like we don't feed him enough already.

Aww, I likes-y this piccie

I've come to the realisation that in the food blogging world, it is not enough to just be able to cook adequately, you gotta be a flipping good photographer. I think I might sign up for a course.

So anyway, at some point in the next couple of days, I will edit this with the recipe included, if anyone is interested.

P.S. I ate the last two I saved when I got home from the pub the very same day I made them. Bad.

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Globalisation is gonna really bite us in the arse...

I wanted to make udon noodles today. It required plain flour, and also bread flour which I didn't have. So I despatched one of my children (which I have MANY!!) to go into town to buy some. NOWHERE in town can she purchase bread flour, without requiring her to get on a bus and go to the local supermarket. I despair. You guys will just have to entertain yourself today.

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Macaroons, Macarons, honestly, I don't think I care....

So, I ended up with, like ten eggwhites from making the lapis legit. The plan was really to make some macarons and honestly, I think the family was hoping I'd just get over the fanciful idea of making something prettiful and just make some mixed berries pavlova. But I was a woman on a mission and afterall, I had already been to Lakeland and purchased my very first icing set and also liquid food colour. Now bearing in mind, this occurred literally days before the Tea Party and really I should have been concentrating on the Tea Party instead. But like I said, I was a woman on a mission.
Oh, and you gotta excuse me. I am writing this post Tea Party. I have so much sugar and butter in my system, I am literally oozing sweet dough from my pores. My eyes are bleary, I swore blind to Spiker that it must be my thyroid acting up and she very sensibly suggested that I might have just been snorting too much icing sugar and just having periodic pre-diabetic episodes.
So, anyway, back to these macarons. Mixing it up was easy enough. Drawing the 3cm circles on the baking parchment on the other hand reminded me why I never did get on to that architecture degree program I applied too, despite me thinking I had all the skills necessary because I could actually draw an apple properly during arts class. However, I simply cannot use a protractor. End of. In the end, I gave up and decided that surely, I can gauge what 3cm look like.
Piping the macaroon mix on the other hand was a task and a half. The first battle was to get the actual mix into the piping bag. Once I got there, it was pretty straight forward, if I am to discount the occasional macaron mix farts that disrupted the process. The part that I cannot get over was how messy my hands were getting and I know that with practice, the mess factor would be greatly reduced. But you know what, I have a phobia (along with the honeycombe one I secretly hide up until now). I bloody hate having messy hands and feet*.
So I rushed through this process and really this is how the little dahlings looked like before they went in.

I must have sat on the floor watching them for about 15 minutes. Thankfully, my OCD kicked in about two weeks ago and my kitchen floor has been doused with Dettol about twice a day by this time. Anyway, I digress...
This is how they looked like when they came out.

I think they look pretty alright. Not quite as pink as I would like them to be but I was still playing around with the food colouring. Let's not talk about the purple ones that ended up being gun metal grey. I told my son that they were the boy's version of the macarons.

* No feet were involved in the making of these dahlings

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I Blame Spiker

This all started with Spiker telling me about this cloud biscuit recipe she came across online. It sounded like a real interesting recipe where the biscuit looks cloud-like and you can actually stand it up on its side so that it really does look like, errrr, a cloud. I was beginning to fantasize about making different types of clouds (cumulus, errr, and other named clouds) and thinking how fantastic it would be to incorporate that with a weather topic to cover with the brood for home edding.
Unfortunately, Spiker forgot to save the web address for the recipe. So those rain cloud biscuits will just have to wait. I did however come across this chocolate cloud cake recipe and since I am premenstrual, obviously there was NO other option but to make this cake.
My conscience was clear. I had baked the Genoise cake I needed for the base of the cheesecake I plan to make on Saturday and I had even tidied my bedroom (no doubt Slaveboy will read that as a signal that Le Sex is on the card but oh boy, will he be sorely disappointed).
So here is the recipe that I used. Mine didn't quite create as spectacular a crater I was hoping for and I think I slightly overwhisked the cream. BUT, we (slaveboy and myself) did think it was a good idea not to be in the same room with each othe for half an hour after eating a slice and being the blog amateur that I am, I forgot to take a picture of it until after we had devoured half of the cake. The children did not ask for a second slice and nor did they ask for the tub of sweeties they were given by Jo, a family friend. In fact, all of them are nowhere to be seen in the house (bar two older children who are at the cinema dressed as Bellatrix and Death Eater from Harry Potter).
I was planning to have a chat with slaveboy about how much I wanted open shelves in the kitchen and I know for a fact he hates the idea but then he is a utilitarianistic, anally retentive old fashioned curmudgeon (harsh words I know but this is afterall my blog so I can say whatever I want! ;p). I reckon that conversation should be postponed a while until the effects of the chocolate hit wears off. Afterall, 36 is a bit young to be a widow and I don't fancy changing the lightbulbs myself.
So, would I make this cake again?
DEFINITELY. Not regularly but it does fulfill that terrible craving for chocolae that I get from time to time. At some point, remind me to share with you this other recipe that I have of a very rich chocolate torte that I have. Like this cake, if contains no flour but more dense in texture and doesn't require anh baking (if I recall properly) other than for the base. It does however have a scandalous amount of cream in it.

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It All Started With The Need To Destress....Or renamed 'A chicken-load of eggs'.

So.
If it isn't stressful enough to be preparing for a big Tea Party in the park where both Spiker and I would be responsible for making the cakes and other forms of sugar rushes, I woke up this morning with a mission. Would this be one where I decide to measure the bottom of the deep tart tin I have so I can cut out 40 round circles of parchment paper? A task that would make my individual vanilla & raspberry cheesecakes making process simpler on Saturday.
NOPE.
Then, maybe, I could make the Genoise cake for the base of the individual vanilla & raspberry cheesecakes in advance so they can be cut to shape and frozen for when I start making said cheesecakes on Saturday?
NOPE.
So what did this muppet decide to do? I despatched my slaveboy to the supermarket to purchase 2 dozen eggs, 18 of which I had eyeballed for a traditional Malay/Indonesian cake recipe I have.
Now, there is a story behind this cake. It is called Lapis Legit. I didn't know it was called this until I found a book with a recipe of it in it. Up until that discovery, I thought only the enlightened be-sarong-ed mak ciks in Malaysia held the secret to this cake. As far as I was concerned, this cinnamon layer cake was as heebie jeebie as making things out of holes, a.k.a. knitting.
Having found this Holy Grail of traditional Malay cakes, I was set on making it. Now bear in mind, I have had this recipe for about 14 years. IT IS OLDER THAN MY ELDEST DAUGHTER! And today, Goddamit, I was going to make it. Nothing was going to stop me. Not the Tea Party, not the parchment paper, not the Genoise cake.
NOT EVEN THE FACT THAT WHEN I WAS PRESENTED WITH THIS CAKE NUMEROUS TIMES AS A CHILD IN MALAYSIA, I COULDN'T SEE WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT.
Here is a photo of the scrap of recipe.

I do believe that I might be mid-cycle.
Anyway, so the process involved some convoluted method of creaming an outrageous amount of butter (funny how Malaysians are not known for having cholesterol problems) with sugar. You then have to take EIGHTEEN egg yolks and beat that with some more sugar. Throw in some token amount of flour and then somehow gently fold in whisked-t0-stiff-peaks 8 egg whites. Don't worry, the whole process is so baffling that you won't even have the brain space to start figuring out what you are going to do with the 10 egg whites you have going spare (Mine will be made into macarons. Have I made macarons before, you might ask? Have I fuck!). Some dividing of the mixtures into two bowls (which would be easy if you hadn't spent your Saturday breaking all but one of your mixing bowls) and then chucking in some spices into one bowl and vanilla extract into another.
Then the theory is, you then pour (ha ha ha, I am laughing already) enough of one mixture into a loose bottomed square tin to a height of 3mm. Uh huh. You then put that under a grill and grill it for about say, 3 minutes, or maybe 5 minutes, hell, it varies! Even the recipe doesn't tell you for how long. Then once the top of it is cooked, you then pour the same amount of the other mixture (which is a different colour) into the tin and repeat the process. Uh huh.
Now boys, and girls, pay attention. It says here in this scrap of recipe I have. A good Lapis Legit will consist of 12-14 layers or more. I was 36 when I started this cake.............
So, then, it sort of got easy and I got complacent. At layer no. 7, I fucked up. I took the tin out from under the grill too soon and when I pour (or more like teased) the next lot of mixture on, it broke the surface of the previous layer and started merging together. I would have liked to put the blame on one of my children for distracting me (Hell, I have enough of them) but alas, it was all due to my complacence.
So, I decided to just carry on, since the only thing that would be affected would be how it looks and not the flavour. About 10 layers later, or maybe 12, I then popped it in the oven for 10 minutes. Helped myself to the Port I use for my game pie (that I actually CAN cook!) and pretend that I can put it down as experience.
I might post a picture of it too. Aren't you all lucky?
P.S. Have fed family the cake. They are still alive and said it tasted yummy.
P.P.S. I am actually quite good at this baking malarkey.
LAPIS LEGIT by Sri Owen
RECIPE (MAKES 1 x 8-9 INCH CAKE)

• 2lb (450g) unsalted butter
• 1tsp of vanilla extract
• 8oz (225g) caster sugar
• 16-19 egg yolks (size 2)
• 3tbs top of milk (I used cream)
• 5oz (150g) plain flour
• a pinch of salt
• 8 egg whites
• 2tsp ground nutmeg
• 4tsp ground cinnamon
• 1tsp ground cloves

Beat the butter and half the sugar until creamy. Beat the yolks with the other half of the sugar in another bowl until creamy and thick. Once you have done this, combine the two mixtures together and add the milk. Add sifted flour and salt into the bowl and carefully fold into the mixture. Beat the egg whites until stiff and fold in.
In one bowl, place half of the mixture, to which you add the vanilla extract. In another bowl, the spices should be added to the other half of the mixture. You will end up with one cream coloured mix, and another brown colour.
Butter a square tin with a loose bottom. Heat the grill to its maximum temperature. If your grill is in the oven, then heat the oven to 150c. Turn it off prior to putting the grill on.
Pour cream mixture to about 1/8 inch (3mm) over the bottom. Grill this for a few minutes (I did it for about 180 seconds - anal, moi? Surely not). What you are aiming for is for the mixture to set firm. Once set, take it out, pour on the same thickness of the spiced mixture. You repeat this process til you run out of mixtures and remember girls and boys, a good Lapis Legit will consist of 12-14 layers or more. Clear? Good.
Final step, put the tin into the oven at 150c for 10 minutes. Remove the cake from tin and cool on a wire rack. Cake will keep fresh in a cake tin or in the fridge for a week, wrapped well in foil. You can also freeze it quite effectively.
So, here is a picture of my youngest daughter eating said cake. She is still alive, lucid and being her general pesky self. Damn.

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Do schools kill creativity?

Some random photos....

Zak displaying how Nadia broke her wrist

Yes, people, he is at the computer doing Maths. The level of concentration is almost palpable

Artists at work....

We are awaiting the creative outbursts and personality meltdowns... Watch this space. I might have to rehouse one of the two temporarily. 

Aishah's story

Aishah drew individual pictures in her notebook and we scanned the pictures and used a storyboard layout on our Mac's Pages software. We then added the text and saved it on both PDF and Jpeg formats.

Spring Weaving Workshop at the Pallant House Gallery

We are still struggling to get to grips with the fact that now we are living in the centre of the city, we have to our disposable facilities that we cam access quickly and cheaply, if not for free. I managed to get the children into the Weaving Workshop at our local modern art gallery, the Pallant House and this was Zak's creation. 

The three dimensional stick man figure was really an afterthought of Zak's.  Although he poo-pooed my suggestion that he added a handlebar moustache on his figure, I reckon he enjoyed more creating the stick man figure than he did the weaving bit (See the vaguely round weaved creation to the right of the photo - yes, that is the weaved masterpiece and I believe it is a bag - possibly a manbag).